I got a call today from my surgeon to make sure I am ready and that I know not to "pig out" (her words, not mine) this weekend. I respect her as a surgeon, but I resent some of the implications from her that I am "non-compliant" or "difficult". She lectured me about how the patients who do as they're told are the ones who are successful and don't have complications. This goes back, I think, to the fact that I have had some difficulty losing the neccessary weight prior to surgery. But you know...it's DIFFICULT. That's WHY I am having surgery. And I did it, even though it's meant hovering at well under 1500 calories a day (which is a huge deficit for someone my size). I kind of wish she would congratulate me on having lost 30 lbs on my own, and cut the lecturing. I am going to keep telling myself that she means well.
I got my call from pre-op on Friday with orders to be at the hospital at 6am on Tuesday. My surgery is officially scheduled from 8-12:15. It seems unreal that it's so close now. I've had a bit of anxiety, but not very much. I've read and researched and asked questions. I've chatted with friends and my therapist. I feel like I am pretty well versed on what to expect, and that helps me a lot in terms of not freaking out. And if I do freak out, when it gets a bit closer...well, I have Klonopin for that.
Here's my to-do list for the remainder of this weekend:
- go to the grocery store for skim milk, non-fat yogurt, cottage cheese, and broth
- launder the new nightgown, yoga pants, and pajamas that I plan to live in next week
- clean, dust, vacuum, etc
- organize the office/sewing room
- pack toiletry bag for hospital (cetaphil, 2-in-1 shampooo/conditioner, toothpaste and brush, lotion, chapstick, etc)
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